Living After Death
by ForgetMeNevermore
Summary: What if the boys hadn't run? What if it wasn't too late... Some of the text is taken from parts of the book, which are owned completely by Jeffrey Eugenides. My first fanfic, please rr (and let me know if I should continue, and any suggestions, thank you)
1. Turning Back

Lux sat in the passenger's seat of her family's station wagon, coughing violently against the fumes, yet she continued to inhale from her cigarette. It had only been about five minutes since she had turned on the ignition and shut the garage door. Her mind had went numb after that, being so far gone that she had barely heard the screams coming from the boys, as they ran out of her house and past the garage. Lux felt no remorse though, not even curiousity as to what exactly had happened...  
  
* * * * *  
  
Chase stopped abruptly, still shaking from the shock of what they had just seen. His eyes were wide with fear, and he thought his heart was going to pound right out of his chest.  
  
"We only saw two," he said under his breath, subconsciously knowing that over their panic, the other guys wouldn't hear him. Everything seemed to go in slow motion after that, the world around him becoming almost surreal. He turned and saw Tim and the others race down the street, seemingly unaware of where they were going. Turning back around, Chase slowly started to come out of it, hearing the humming of a car close by...  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was three days after the funerals. Bonnie and Therese had been buried beside their youngest sister. The two spots had already been reserved almost a year ago by Mrs. Lisbon, a month after Cecilia's death. She had planned for those spots to be for her and her husband when their time came, so they could be by their youngest daughter. She had of course assumed that her other four daughters would grow into adulthood, and eventually start families of their own, with so many years ahead of them. Instead, Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon had to put two more daughters into the soiled earth, after their premature departure from this world.  
  
As much as Mrs. Lisbon disapproved of Dr. Horniker, she felt she had no other choice than to send Mary and Lux there. She had lost all hope by now, even letting her husband make some of the decisions. She now seemed detached from her two surviving daughters, knowing everyone in town thought that it was only a matter of time before they joined their sisters, and she herself had begun to agree.  
  
Mr. Lisbon though, still held out some hope. Sitting across from his daughters' psychiatrist, he brieftly began to observe the darkened and serene office, waiting to hear what Dr. Horniker had to say.  
  
The doctor soon cleared his throat, shutting both girls' charts, as he focused his attention on the aging man in front of him, looking worn and grief-stricken.  
  
"Your girls are lucky that the neighbor boy found them in time," Dr. Horniker said, trying to start out on a positive note. "I recommend starting the girls on an anti-depressant... I think it will help matters for them." Looking away, the doctor debated on whether or not to state his own opinion. He finally decided to casually bring up his take on things into the conversation. "Mr. Lisbon, how long have the girls been out of school?" he asked, but saw that Mr. Lisbon's eyes began to fill with tears, so he quickly thought of something else to say. "I heard your moving out of your home. That should be better for them... And Mrs. Lisbon, what is her take on all of this?"  
  
Mr. Lisbon frowned at the doctor, watching his expression, as he tried to read him. His mind was racing with so many other thoughts and memories, that he couldn't even will himself to concentrate. But somehow, he knew where this was going, and what was expected of him, especially now.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Even though the Lisbons had moved out, they remained in their small suburbian town, now just living on the other side. Even with the tragedies that occured, the superintendent of the girls' school had signed up Mary and Lux for summer school, to make up for all the months they had missed, since he did not particularly want to hold them back a year.  
  
Upon hearing of Lux's return to school, Trip had drug himself out of his bed, where he had remained since the suicides, hiding away from the outside world, and the reality that was haunting him.  
  
It was only May, and he wondered if he'd even be allowed through the front doors of their school, with his record and failing grades, and now his long and unexcused absenses. But after all these months it was still the same unsecured school, not a teacher in sight.  
  
Of course being high, Trip began opening up random doors to classrooms, needing to find Lux. It took awhile, but he finally found the right room, and there she sat. She was in the back row, the furthest seat away from the door. Her golden hair was hanging down, almost covering her whole face. She was staring down at the top of her desk, taking no notice of the world around her.  
  
Trip snapped himself out of his trance, stumbling clumsily into the room. A boy was seated in the desk beside her, so he grabbed the boy's arm and pulled him up, mumbling something about finding another seat before shoving him away.  
  
Lux glanced out of the corner of her eye, looking over just in time to see Trip sitting down beside her. She quickly looked out in front of her, staring off for awhile, before lowering her eyes back down to the desktop.  
  
Throughout the rest of the class period, Trip watched Lux obsessively, not being able to turn his head away once. Even as the bell rang for their next class, he remained transfixed, as Lux sat still in her seat, making no attempt to move.  
  
Once the room was empty, Trip felt himself grow cold, his body shaking nervously, as he cleared his throat. He opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off.  
  
"He left our mom. He told her he wanted me and Mary to live with him, and that he was leaving her... She was put in the hospital after her breakdown, the one upstate. It's suppose to be a real good one," Lux spoke softly, her voice weak and nonchalant. She didn't stop there though, she just let it all out, oddly calm throughout it all.  
  
"We never talk about it, and dad never asks..... Why are you here?" She didn't even seem to want to know his answer, but also didn't want to be left alone, trapped in silence again.  
  
Trip's emotions had been so out of control that he thought he was going to break down into tears. It was one thing to cry alone, away from everyone else, but he couldn't in front of Lux. He felt selfish and stupid. Thoughts of that night, after Homecoming, came flooding back, but he couldn't ever bring it up. He was guilty, and a coward, but he couldn't help but hope that maybe she had forgotten.  
  
"I-," Trip stopped himself, searching his mind for something comforting to say. "We can talk, more.. Tonight?" He knew that had came out wrong, but he was desperate and just wanted to see her.  
  
Lux turned her head, finally looking him in the eye. Her skin was pale, and she looked tired, her eyes seemingly hard.  
  
"No," she said steadily, rising up from her seat and walking away, now leaving him behind. 


	2. Alternative Life

"Beautiful girls. Gorgeous," the young, stocky new teacher commented, lifting up the picture on Mr. Lisbon's desk of Mary and Lux.  
  
Mr. Lisbon smiled proudly, but a little half-heartedly. "Mary's 19 now, and Lux just turned 17," he explained, motioning towards each of the two in the picture as he spoke.  
  
His colleague returned the frame on Mr. Lisbon's desk, nodding. "Both girls almost out of the nest," he said cluelessly, not knowing the whole story. "Does this mean you'll start up on bachelorhood again?"  
  
Mr. Lisbon shook his head, forcing out a laugh. "No, not me. With Mary getting married soon, Luxie's graduation, and my new job offer over in Boulder, I'll be plenty busy for awhile." This was the life he had come to know, the one he had created and now lived by. There was no past, because the past would eventually kill him.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Tim knocked on Chase's door, carrying the suit he was sent to pick up, that was covered carefully in a large plastic bag. The door to the apartment opened seconds later, revealing Chase, who smiled widely at the sight of his suit. He was taller now, his hair longer than it had been at sixteen. His voice was deeper, while Tim's had remained at the same high level from when they had been in high school.  
  
Chase took the suit from his friend's arms and headed back inside the apartment, with Tim in tow.  
  
"How's it feel, man?" Tim asked, passing a long, flowing wedding dress, that was hanging up against the closet door in the hall. Following Chase into the living room, he looked at him questionably, trying to analyze his friend's apparent happiness. "How's it feel to have a girl we've all been dreaming about since grade school?"  
  
Chase laid the suit over the couch, turning back to Tim with the same grin etched on his face. "Unbelievable. I can't even explain it, Tim." He had been through a lot with Mary by now. From that horrible night he had found her in the kitchen, and pulled her body away from that oven. She was unconscious, as was Lux, who he had taken out of the garage and laid on the front lawn. He couldn't think straight, but his instincts soon kicked in and he screamed for Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon. Turning back to Mary, he began giving her mouth to mouth, trying to revive her, until Mrs. Lisbon had pulled him away. Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon had soon found the others, neither one being able to make sense of who had survived the suicide massacre.  
  
Chase had visited both girls after that night. Lux remained mute at first, while Mary began to slowly confide in him. Their friendship quickly progressed, as things grew more serious between them. Chase's lifelong dream had came true, his obsession overcoming him, and his love for the Lisbon girls all going to Mary. He knew Tim was jealous, so he didn't really get that many chances to talk to him about these sort of things, and was surprised by his friend's question. "You have your suit ready, right?" Chase asked him, noticing his friend's sudden change of mood, as Tim looked down to his shoes and shifted his weight. Maybe he was thinking of the girls, and about that night. He often did, but barely talked about it.  
  
"Yeah," Tim finally answered, looking back up and smiling slightly. He still tried to find out why, still analyzed Cecilia's diary, still remembered seeing Bonnie's legs hanging from above. He was still haunted by running...  
  
* * * * *  
  
Lux walked into her house, humming a song she had heard over the radio on her way home from school. It was only her and her dad living there now, which is why she jumped at the sight of a figure sitting at the kitchen table. Quickly realizing that it was only Mary, a toothy grin spread across her mouth, as she practically skipped up to her sister's side. Her smile soon faded though, when she noticed how sad Mary looked.  
  
"Hey Mar, what's going on?" Lux asked her, pulling up a chair to sit next to her sister.  
  
Mary seemed caught off guard, looking up in confusion. Lux frowned when Mary didn't answer right away, and that's when she looked down at her sister's hands, seeing that she was holding onto a small diary, decorated with a flowery pattern, with the lock broke open. Her first thought was that Mary had found Cecilia's diary, that they had been trying to find for years, but it wasn't. Cecilia's was a solid color.  
  
"Whatcha got there?" Lux asked curiously, her eyes fixated on the journal.  
  
"Therese's," Mary answered bluntly, running her fingers gently along it's cover, as she brought herself to look over at Lux. "We had a pact."  
  
Lux drew in a deep breath, her eyes widening as she sat back in her seat. It became taboo to mention the suicides. It was an unspoken pact between the two of them to never mention the secrets behind that night. They barely talked about their actual attempts, but to discuss anything further was inconceivable, a sacred bind to secrecy had just been broken in Lux's eyes.  
  
"You don't know what you're talking about," she snapped angrily at Mary. "Don't make me call dad home from work Mary, because I'll do it."  
  
Mary glared at her sister, tossing Therese's diary at her. "I'm not going off the deep end here, Lux. It was bound to come out," she shot back at her, getting up from her chair and backing away. Tears began to glisten in her eyes as she shook her head and slowly began pacing the room. "We promised Cecilia what we'd do if she ever hurt herself again, and when the time came, we were not ready!" she yelled, her voice breaking into sobs as she spoke.  
  
Lux glared at Mary angrily, getting up from her own seat as she stormed up to her sister. "You're happy now, so why are you doing this?! Why are you jepardizing everything we've worked for?! You have the perfect boyfriend waiting to marry you, do you even know how envious I am?! So why are you doing this?!"  
  
"Because we killed them Lux!" Mary screamed, her voice now coming out in a shrill cry. "You know damn well how scared Bonnie was, how much Therese regreted that whole stupid plan! We were not suppose to survive! How can we ever be happy after what happened?! We watched Therese take those damn pills, and we heard Bonnie kick out that box! Do you remember?!" Mary's whole face was red by now, sobbing in hysterics as her hands started to tremble.  
  
Lux backed away after that, having buried those memories so deep within her mind, that Mary's words hit her like a knife in the gut. She felt her own eyes water up as she looked at Mary in disbelief, speechless.  
  
Mary took that opportunity of silence to grab her purse and storm off out the door.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Later that night, Mary headed back home. She had been driving around all day, thinking to herself. When she got up to the apartment, she reached into her purse and pulled out her house keys, but the door opened up before she could put them into the lock. Chase was standing on the other side, leaning against the doorframe and staring down at her. She couldn't tell whether he looked angry or worried.  
  
"Lux has been calling," he said, breaking the silence between them. "She sounded worried, so we went out looking for you." Chase continued frowning in concern, as he stepped back out of the archway. Mary hesitated before walking inside, hating herself for what was about to happen.  
  
"I was thinking," Mary explained, her back still to him as she spoke. "About the wedding... I think we should put the plans on hold, just for awhile."  
  
Chase instantly became upset by this and stormed over to her, grabbing a hold of Mary's arm and turning her around to face him.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?!" he yelled, his voice almost giving out on him. He felt himself slowly begin to loose his hold on her though, as he looked deep into her dark blue eyes, in obvious pain.  
  
Mary defensively pushed him off of her and backed away. Turning her back on him again, she charged into the kitchen to distance herself from him.  
  
"I'm just having doubts!" she yelled back at him, walking up to the kitchen counter and grabbing a towel, pretending to occupy herself by cleaning. "How am I suppose to spend the rest of my life with a guy who is only in love with the idea of me? Who would have been just as happy settling for any Lisbon?"  
  
Chase shot her a hurt look, making his way over to the other side of the counter, so that she'd have to face him.  
  
"That's a lie and you know it," he said, his tone becoming more darkened and serene, as he stared at her downcast face with a desperate look. "How could you say something like that to me, after all that we've been through together?"  
  
Mary laughed out, even though tears were glistening in her eyes. The sound of this turned Chase's hurt into confusion. He let out a deep breath, as if having the wind knocked out of him.  
  
"I know why you went back that night, Chase. Lux even told you, she'd be waiting in the car. You went back for her. You didn't run because you wanted to be the one to save her," she shot out harshly, still managing to avoid Chase's eyes, as she paced nervously alongside the counter. "And where do you think I'd be? I wouldn't have been here today without Lux, and she wouldn't have been here without you! If it had just been me that lived, we both know that I'd be long gone by now."  
  
Mary took this time to take her last look at Chase before leaving. Seeing the tears slide down the sides of his face, she made herself turn away. She had never seen him cry before, and hated herself for being the cause of it.  
  
Before Chase had time to respond, Mary raced out of the kitchen and back to the front door, willing herself to leave now.  
  
"Infatuation is not love, Chase," she told him quietly, while putting on her jacket. "And you guys will always be infatuated with the Lisbon sisters." He didn't even have time to stop her. Lunging into the living room after Mary, he came just in time to have the door shut in his face, as Mary ran off down the hallway of their building.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Trip had circled Lux's block ten times before finally deciding to pull over. It was dark out by now, the clouds looming heavily overhead, with a damp breeze blowing through. It was probably going to rain at any second.  
  
There was a moving truck parked in front of her house, with boxes piled up on the lawn. The movers took their time though, seemingly unworried about the oncoming storm. Trip stopped and watched them for a moment, the men moving into the back of the truck with boxes, and then going back for more. Trip was subconsciously stalling, always feeling nervous when he was about to approach Lux. He was mainly scared that this would be the final time.. But before he had time to turn around and walk back to his car, he saw her. She was sitting on the grass, behind the boxes, as he caught sight of her after one of the movers had lifted another box out of the way. Trip willed himself to walk up to her then, since she might have spotted him.  
  
"Hey," he greeted Lux, smiling down at her nervously as he shifted his weight. Lux looked up and smiled at him, saying a silent hello back. He had been unsuccessfully chasing after her for over two years now. He couldn't lose her now.  
  
"I heard you're leaving," he said solemnly, running a hand through his longish hair. Lux diverted her attention down to her skirt, brushing the stray grass off of it with her hands. The silence was soon interrupted by Mary, who called out Lux's name as she ran towards them from down the block.  
  
Trip lurked away from the two, as Lux jumped up from the lawn and ran over to hug her sister. He knew about Mary's wedding and her plans to stay here with Chase, so he assumed that she had probably came down to say goodbye to her family. Not wanting to disturb that, he shoved his hands down into his pockets, walking back and forth along the sidewalk, a good distance away from the girls.  
  
He had been minding his own business, waiting patiently for Lux, when he heard a scream. Snapping around, he looked towards the girls. Lux looked upset, on the verge of tears, but Mary stood in front of her sister apparently calm and collected.  
  
"You're leaving Chase and us?! God Mary, we're not moving that far!" Lux screamed at her, her temper evident, as her face beamed red. "You're actually going to leave everything behind to go there and take care of that woman?!"  
  
"That woman is our mother," Mary replied, not even raising her voice, or reacting to her sister's anger.  
  
Lux shot her a resentful glare, as the two girls stayed frozen like that for quite some time. Mary was the first to back down, breaking the deep and hurtful stare by taking a step away from Lux.  
  
"Our sisters are dead," Mary spoke accusingly, but mostly towards herself. Her outburst was sudden, and disturbing. Lux gave her a slightly bewildered look, her narrowed eyes fading into a more relaxed sight, as tears began to form at the corners of her eyes. She did not want to get into this again, not now. Not ever.  
  
Turning on her heel, Lux stormed away from her sister, walking towards Trip. She didn't know if Mary was trying to hurt her, or if her random statement had a deeper meaning. All she knew was that she was alone now, and there was no one left to count on. Mary blamed her, she could feel it. Her sister was all that she had left, and now she was just pushing Lux away. Nothing was the same... What little was left, was now falling apart. She wanted to feel something deeper than death, she couldn't bare to be trapped in her mind another minute.  
  
"I hope you waste away," Lux sneered at Trip, though no emotion could be seen on her face, only in her tone. She talked with hopelessness etched in her voice, yet she was holding herself up for this last destructive deed. "You're too selfish and conceited, Fontaine. You'll spend the rest of your life screwing out your brains in one way or another, because you're empty. You're nothing." Trip felt the knife cut through his chest and into his heart. He wondered if he had made her feel this way, that night after the dance. It dawned on him then, why Lux was killing him by saying this. It had been his fault. The whole Lisbon tragedy, keeping Lux out that night, the punishment, the suicides... She had known it was his fault, too.  
  
Looking back behind Lux, she saw that Mary was gone. Mr. Lisbon was now standing out on the porch. Moving his eyes back to Lux, Trip nodded in agreement. There was nothing left to do now, everything was over. He backed away slowly, until reaching his car. He had lost everything. He was nothing. 


	3. Breaking Point

Mary sped her car up in front of her old home, slamming on the breaks and jerking forward with the car. She quickly swung open her car door and jumped out. Stopping at the trunk, she pulled it open and took out her wedding dress, which was now carelessly balled up. Holding it, crumpled up in both arms, she froze at the sight of the house. Amazingly, it still had that faint stench to it, as she looked up at it against the blackened and threatening sky. Thunder could be heard from miles off, but there was still no rain. Mary forced herself to walk up the front steps of the porch. After all these years, the house was still empty. The drama-seeking people in this town had come to believe that the house was haunted, or that Cecilia had put a curse upon her family. They didn't have the guts to say something like that near Mary or Lux though, knowing how angry they'd get.  
  
Turning the nob to the front door, it jolted open on her, the door wavering inwards with a soft creak. Mary didn't hold herself back, she had been preparing for this. She walked inside, shutting the door behind her, before heading towards the staircase.  
  
Upstairs, she made her way carefully into Cecilia's room. She kept her head down the whole time, bringing her dress over to her sister's old bed, now being gentle as she laid it out. It was almost as if she was leaving it there for Cecilia, to replace the one that their mom had destroyed. Turning in silence, she made her way back into the hall...  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was now storming outside. The rain crashed down against the musty window panes, some of it even leaking through the roof, in more places than it used to.  
  
Mary laughed out a little as she looked in the mirror. She was now in her old room, sitting on Bonnie's old rocking chair, as she started into her weather-themed mirror. She used to love that mirror, but after what had happened, she left everything behind that used to be important to her. When she laughed, it wasn't a pleasant one. It was full of self hatred, laughing pitifully at her own reflection.  
  
Leaning forward to observe herself closer, her phony smile had faded into a miserable frown. She made a grab for the scissors without a second thought, lifting them up off of the desk. Grabbing a hold of her long, dark blonde hair, Mary began cutting it off, slicing the scissors through random layers of hair. When she was satisfied with what she had done, she clutched the scissors tightly in one hand, holding the blade up to her face. She wondered how ugly she would have to look on the outside, for people to stop "caring". She already felt ugly on the inside. None of them could understand, and Lux refused to. None of them knew what it was like. To loose three sisters is devastating enough, but to constantly blame yourself for two of them was unbearable. How could she ever be happy, knowing what she had done? But this time she wasn't going to be selfish about it. She wasn't going to bring everyone down with her. She needed Lux to believe that she was moving upstate, even if it meant her sister hating her. She needed Chase to find someone else, to blame her and resent her. Her dad still had Lux, and none of them would ever have to find out.  
  
Running the blade across her left cheek, she winced, freezing afterwards. Tears fell from her eyes, her hand trembling so bad that she dropped the scissors. She was just stalling, she told herself. Getting up from the rocking chair, Mary headed back down the staircase, grabbing her keys off of their old coffee table on her way out. She then ran straight through the mud-soaked lawn and back to her car.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The rain hadn't let up. A fog began to form, growing thicker as Mary drove down the highway. She figured that she was far enough away by now. She had no sense of time, but it seemed darker than before. The blood on her cheek was now dry, but the cut was turning a darkish purple. Hair that she had clipped away was still falling out, some strays sticking to the headrest of her seat. The car was covered with mud, the faint stench of a river lingering overhead.  
  
At first, Mary had felt ashamed and stupid for what she was doing. She felt crazy, but knew she wasn't. Maybe she had finally broken down, after all these years of pretending. All these years of acting the part of a normal, healthy teenage girl, mimicking the emotions and actions of those around her. Proving the theory that no one ever truly knows another person.  
  
Mary slowed down, tapping her foot on the brake lightly. She could hear the sounds of the river running below the bridge of the highway, the sounds of the rain hitting into the streaming water. The fog was too thick though, she couldn't even see where the road led to, only being able to see a foot or so in front of her. She had come to a complete stop in the road by now.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Cecilia tugged the bracelets until the tape came unstuck. Then she froze.  
  
"All right. Go up, then. We'll have fun without you," their mother had said. As soon as she had permission, Cecilia made for the stairs. She climbed the steps to the kitchen, closed the door behind her, and proceeded though the upstairs hallway. Her footsteps could be heard right above them. Halfway up the staircase to the second floor, her steps made no more noise, but it was only thirty seconds later that they could hear it happen, as they all remained down in the basement, completely unaware... First came the sound of wind. The wind-sound huffed, once, and then the moist thud jolted everyone, and for that moment everyone remained still and composed, heads tilted to allow the ears to work, no belief coming in yet.  
  
Watching their mother running for the stairs, Mary screamed, the reality of what had happened hitting her.  
  
*End of Flash*  
  
Mary started up the engine again, turning the key in the ignition until she heard a roar.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Where are your parents?" she could heard from one of the boys in the living room.  
  
"Asleep," Lux answered.  
  
"What about your sisters?"  
  
"They're coming."  
  
Something thudded downstairs. Mary held back tears, a sinking feeling in her chest... Bonnie.  
  
"Come on." It was Chase's voice this time. "We better get out of here. It's getting late." Then there was silence.  
  
"Wait," Lux said. "Five more minutes. We're not finished packing. We had to wait until my parents were asleep..." Lux's voice began to trail off. Mary closed her eyes, inhaling the warm air deeply. The last thing she heard was a car door shut.  
  
*End of Flash*  
  
Letting out a deep breath, Mary slammed her foot on the gas, speeding off blindly into the heavy fog. Technically, it happened quickly, but to her it lasted far too long. The front of the car hit into something, sending it spiraling into a circle, but Mary didn't let up on the gas. It was quiet after that, with only the far off sound of wind, slowly coming closer. She had heard it before feeling it; the sound of impact. Then she felt it, the water's surface hitting into her car like a brick wall. It sucked her in after that, her body violently jerking forward with the car, as she heard the sound of glass shattering from either side of her. Then she felt the cold water... 


	4. Revelations

"Why do you think the girls did what they did, Mrs. Lisbon?" The room was decorated as if it belonged to a child. There was a television at the far end, where most of the other patients were seated. But Mrs. Lisbon sat at the other end of the room, rested back in an armchair, as she looked him right in the eye.  
  
"Timothy, that's what's so frightening. It don't know. Once they're out of you, they're different, kids are," she answered Tim, surprisingly calm. "None of my daughters lacked any love. We had plenty of love in our house."  
  
Tim nodded, but frowned a little in disappointment. He was the only one left now. After Therese and Bonnie's suicide, Chase had gotten up the courage to make contact with the surviving girls. He was a hero to them, he had saved them from death, and now wanted to save them from themselves. Tim did too, as well as the other boys. They loved those girls, but the guilt and grief from that night had led them to selfish seclusion. It had been months before they could attempt to return back to a normal life. Joe Hill Conley would still have occasional breakdowns, claiming to see the vision of Bonnie's frail body hanging before him when he dared to close his eyes, the rope around her neck leading up to the basements ceiling. Kevin Head would sometimes talk to them, coming over only to ask random questions, mostly revolving around whether Therese was upset after the dance, when he never called. David and Parkie had distanced themselves from the rest of the boys, and from the girls entirely. They seemed too scared. Parkie eventually moved, and they all wondered if it was because of the suicides, or because he had found out about Chase and Mary hooking up.  
  
One night, almost a year after the last two suicides, Tim was up in the treehouse with Paul and Joe. They had gotten out everything they had saved up, that had to do with the Lisbons. Now more than ever, Tim felt completely obsessed. They took out their school photos, Lux's brassiere that Peter had took when he ate at their house, Therese's specimen slides, Bonnie's votive candles, Cecilia's canvas high-tops (which were now beginning to turn yellow from time), and Mary's old cosmetics. But it was no use, it just reminded them of what they had lost, and the two that they'd never be able to get to. Tim didn't even remember hearing Chase walk up the ladder, but he sure felt him when he got into the treehouse. Having seen Mary's things among the pile, as if the others had considered her dead, Chase flipped out. The treehouse was so small, but somehow he managed to grab Tim by the collar, shoving him hard into the back wall. The tree shook, as Chase yelled obscenities at them, before grabbing Mary's old things and heading back out of the treehouse. They had never talked about the incident since then, as if it had never happened. None of the boys had ever taken out their stuff again though, leaving it all up in the treehouse, until now.  
  
Tim looked back up at Mrs. Lisbon. "They were unhappy," he said quietly, not asking a question this time. They were still unhappy, the surviving two. Lux isolated herself off in seclusion after the move, and Mary had ran away. There were rumors that she was coming upstate to be with her mother, but Mrs. Lisbon mentioned nothing of it. There were also rumors that she had left to go to the coast, to one of the places pictured in the girls' old traveling magazines. But no one had heard from her since she left.  
  
Mrs. Lisbon looked hurt by Tim's comment, but only briefly. Her face soon went back to it's hard, serene stare.  
  
"Do you blame them? With everything going on in this world today. Kids having meaningless intercourse, with no love. Kids putting dangerous substances into their systems, without a care for themselves or those around them. People have become too selfish, and after losing my girls and Ronnie, I began to question whether anyone could ever truly love another person." Mrs. Lisbon looked away after that, looking as though she was trying to think of something that was troubling her. "You never hear the cry for help, everyone overlooks it. It doesn't become real until something drastic happens, and then it's too late. People today need to understand this, suicide is hurtful, and permanent. There's no taking it back, and there's nothing you can do after they're gone... I never thought my daughters needed saving..."  
  
Tim studied her sad, yet hardened face, his brain immediately analyzing everything she had just told him. Their own mother had missed the signs. They all could have done something different to save the Lisbon girls. There were so many mistakes made, that in the end, it all seemed unrepairable,... but it wasn't.  
  
No matter how hard he tried, Tim would never be able to figure out why. Why Cecilia saw no other way but to jump. Why the girls couldn't have just ran away with them, as planned. Why everything had to become so horrible. Why they hadn't heard them calling, before it was too late. The girls would always be unattainable to them, as they were before. Even to Trip and Chase, who would never be able to fully understand the girls that they cherished. Maybe they couldn't save them after all. The girls had lived in pain, as Mary and Lux probably still did everyday. They wanted the boys to see them, to know who they were, and help them. Maybe they had failed the girls, getting too caught up with the past and the unanswered questions. Now the remaining boys lived in agony for what could have been, for the girls they had lost, yet saw every night. 


End file.
